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pamscoffee for the pic)More Americans Falling For "Get Rich Slowly Over A Lifetime Of Hard Work" Schemes
A report released Monday by the Omaha-based public-interest group Aurora indicates that increasing numbers of Americans are being defrauded by schemes that offer financial reward for a lifetime of hard work. "People don't realize that long-term savings and loyalty to one company don't pan out," said Sylvia Girouard, the study's author. Girouard added that steady employment which claims to offer long-term financial gain in the form of a pension plan is nothing more than an elaborate Ponzi scheme.
pamscoffee for the link
A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute.
"When it comes to defending ourselves against an army of reanimated human corpses, the officials in charge have fallen asleep at the wheel," Murphy said. "Who's in charge of sweep-and-burn missions to clear out infected areas? Who's going to guard the cemeteries at night? If zombies were to arrive in the city tomorrow, we'd all be roaming the earth in search of human brains by Friday."
Government-conducted zombie-attack scenarios described on the State Department's website indicate that a successful, citywide zombie takeover would take 10 days, but according to ZPI statistician Dr. Milton Cornelius, the government's models fail to incorporate such factors as the zombies' rudimentary reasoning skills and basic tool use.
"Today's zombies quickly learn to open doors, break windows, and stage ambushes," Cornelius said. "In one 1985 incident in Louisville, a band of zombies was able to lure four paramedics and countless law-enforcement officials to their deaths by commandeering an ambulance radio and calling for backup."
from Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
Gregg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention — prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs.
What started 10 years ago with an experiment on an unwitting Rottweiler named Max has turned into a thriving mail-order business. And on Thursday night Miller's efforts earned him a dubious yet strangely coveted honor: the Ig Nobel Prize for medicine.
The Ig Nobels, given at Harvard University by Annals of Improbable Research magazine, celebrate the humorous, creative and odd side of science.
... Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. The silicone implants come in different sizes, shapes, weights and degrees of firmness.
from The Winner Is... Fake Dog Testicle Creator
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Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."
"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"
from Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New "Intelligent Falling" Theory (The Onion, thanks to
stonemirror for the link)akaiyume!cowgrrl for the link; any resemblance to the lives of anyone who reads this journal is purely coincidental. "In his Book of the Law, Crowley: wrote; 'the obeah and the wanga, the work of the wand and the work of the sword, these he shall learn and teach.'
"Substitute Obi for Obeah and Wan for Wanga and you get Obi-Wan.
"And what device is a wand one moment and a sword the next? A lightsaber, of course; and the relevance of 'learn and teach' is obvious, since Obi-Wan is the teacher.
... "When one considers that an Aeon is a span of time, akin to the term 'millennium', and that Horus is often depicted as a falcon, it does compel one to look at the Millenium Falcon in a slightly different light.
... "A part of the Star Wars universe is actually mentioned by name in one of Crowley's Holy Books.
"'Thy messenger was more terrible than the Death-star,' Crowley says.
from STAR WARS AND THE SATANIC [sic] (received in email)
The next time you run a scan with your anti-spyware tool, it might miss some programs. Several anti-spyware firms, including Aluria, Lavasoft, and PestPatrol, have quietly stopped detecting adware from companies like Claria and WhenU--a process called delisting. Those adware companies have been petitioning anti-spyware firms to delist their software; other companies have resorted to sending cease-and-desist letters that threaten legal action.
... Of course, some spyware apps are worse than others. One spyware program may make severe changes to your computer's settings, while another merely displays ads.
Claria and WhenU are making the case that their adware programs don't resort to illegal tactics, such as exploiting security holes, to install themselves. And though this software can be annoying, adware developers argue that merely being listed in an anti-spyware scanner's database tarnishes a company's reputation by linking its relatively benign adware application with far more harmful and intrusive spyware programs.
from Can You Trust Your Spyware Protection?
A booger is an American slang term for partially solidified mucus from the nose; the British form is bogey. Boogers form when the mucus traps dust and other particles in the air. Mucus dries around the particle and, much like a pearl forming in an oyster, hardens into a booger. Wikipedia
Question: If you have acid in your stomach, why don't you melt?
Answer: Your stomach does have acid inside of it - hydrochloric acid - strong enough to eat through a piece of the metal zinc.
The reason your stomach isn't destroyed by the acid is our old friend snot, which is also called mucus.
Mucus is thick, sticky, slimy and gooey. And it's a good thing.
The inside of your stomach is covered with it. That layer of snot protects the stomach from its own acid. In fact, the miracle of mucus protects many parts of our bodies...
from Mucus
Mucins are a family of large, heavily glycosylated proteins. Although some mucins are membrane bound due to the presence of a hydrophobic membrane-spanning domain that favors retention in the plasma membrane, the concentration here is on those mucins that are secreted on mucosal surfaces and saliva.
from Mucus and Mucins
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