reproducive coersion

[sophiaserpentia]

There's a fascinating post today at Shakesville about reproductive coersion, which is when men act to override their female partner's reproductive freedom, essentially in an attempt to force her to become pregnant against her will. In the context of abusive relationships, which are at heart about controlling someone by reducing their freedom to act independently, it makes sense; but what surprises me is how common it actually is.

[Reproductive coercion] is when the male partner pressures the other, through verbal threats, physical aggression, or birth-control sabotage, to become pregnant. According to Miller's research, about a third of women reporting partner violence experienced reproductive coercion, as did 15 percent of women who had never reported violence.

Overall, rates of reproductive coercion among family-planning-clinic patients are surprisingly high: about one in five women report their partner having attempted to coerce them into pregnancy.

Comments

[goldoyster.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'd never thought about that. In my experience guys want to avoid having children. Such a different world.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the story I hear more often is men coercing their pregnant girlfriends or ex-girlfriends into having abortions. Either way it boils down to control over even what someone is able to do with her own body.

am unsurprised :/

[mpacket.livejournal.com]

I had a married friend who did NOT want to get pregnant and was careful to use two methods of BC at all times. Her partner really wanted her pregnant. The condom broke and the diaphragm turned out to have several small holes. She got pregnant.

I always suspected him.

Re: am unsurprised :/

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Ugh. :(

[azaz-al.livejournal.com]

This happened to me. So I went out to get an IUD. My partner became furious and began accusing me of cheating all the time, insisting I MUST be using birth control that couldn't be circumvented in order to avoid having him find out by having a baby that didn't look like him. Ironically enough, he had told me several times about how his father deliberately sabatoged the birth control method they were using because he wanted kids and his mother didn't want to go through being pregnant.

You know of the last person I was with too and his constant subtle hints about wanted children. It's simply not true that women always want babies and are trying to trick men into it. Lots of men want children and don't care what hell they put women thorugh to get them. And for all those sueing to be able to force a woman to have an abortion, there are many who have sued to try to force women to have "their" children.

reproductive coersion works both ways

[alobar.livejournal.com]

Back 20-30 years ago, there were a number of times when women told men they were on the pill just to get pregnant, then force the male to pay child support.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[rhonan.livejournal.com]

Yes, but he could have worn a condom if it mattered to him. I trust my partners with many things, but not birth control. I have chosen to be child free, in so doing, I took the responsibility to stay that way upon myself. Even responsible people can forget to take a pill.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[alobar.livejournal.com]

When my girlfriend kept forgetting to take the pill, I got a vasectomy.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Well... really the point of this is, the woman is the one who gets pregnant either way, and deals with the changes to her body and the health risks. When a man coerces a woman to become pregnant, he is forcing her to use her body and take on changes and risks to which she does not consent. In the other case, even if a woman tricks a man (and court-ordered child support is not, let's face it, a path to riches, so as a strategy to get money out of someone it would be a very poor one) she is still the one who takes on the changes and risks.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[alobar.livejournal.com]

You appear to be saying that when a woman dupes man it is not as serious as when a man coerces a woman. If you are saying that, we disagree on this matter.

To me, coercion for babymaking is never a good thing. Some of us do not want our genes handed over to another person, nor do we want to be forced to pay child support for a child we did not want.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Duping is not as serious as coercion, period, no matter who's doing it to whom for what reason. By coercion I mean literal violence, and in the case of reproductive coercion I mean situations where one person is being controlled by another for years by use of violence. If you think that this is honestly equivalent to being lied to, I'm not sure what else to say.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[alobar.livejournal.com]

Someone who is coerced has the option of fleeing. Someone being lied to does not have that option.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Someone who is being coerced *sometimes* has the option of fleeing. (Check out the statistics on how many women killed by partners or ex-partners were attempting to separate from an abusive situation.) And even if she successfully flees, she ALSO now has a child, just like the person who was lied to, and does not have the option of fleeing from that responsibility.

Re: reproductive coersion works both ways

[alobar.livejournal.com]

Flee BEFORE it is too late to get an abortion.

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

I read "Abortion is a Blessing" (it was available as a free e-book on ffrf.org at one time) which gives a lot of background on what real women were experiencing just before Roe v. Wade and around that time. The author recounted many stories of women being coerced into pregnancies they didn't want.

http://www.ffrf.org/day/view/11/25/#anne-nicol-gaylor1

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to write an entry about the advances that have occurred just in my lifetime. I was born in 1969, and in that time feminists have won numerous important advances in women's rights.

[alobar.livejournal.com]

May years ago, I read something about abortions in Yugoslavia. Initially the government forbade abortions to married couples who had no genetic problems. The children born were followed thru their early years. By pairing up the unwanted children with wanted children, the scientists saw a pattern. Unwanted children did not do as well in school, did not make friends as easily, and tended to get into trouble more frequently. The Yugoslavian government then changed its stance on abortion. As read this before the internet, I have no links.