homosexuality in 'tolerant' film and fiction

[sophiaserpentia]

This week I've been reading The Forever War by Joe Haldeman, and Saturday afternoon I went to see "The Kids are Alright" with cowgrrl. And as is usual for the way my brain works, I saw patterns in what are ostensibly far disparate artifacts of our culture.

The Forever War is an anti-war science fiction novel written by a Vietnam veteran, and is a commentary on that war, the military-industrial complex, and the American empire's reliance on perpetual war as an economic engine. The name refers to the effects of relativity on those who travel in space: while the protagonist experiences about 5-10 years of subjective time, his time as a soldier in the war against the Taurans lasts over 1100 years. Haldeman uses the change over time in attitudes towards homosexuality as one of the primary illustrations of culture shock experienced by the protagonist. And while Haldeman is somewhat more accepting of it than his protagonist, and makes some interesting comments on heterosexual culture seeing homosexuality as a "problem" that needs to be cured (and he got some flack for writing in a generally accepting way about homosexuality during the mid-seventies) I got a sense from the way certain things resolve in the novel that Haldeman may unconsciously feel that same-sex relationships are inferior to heterosexual relationships.

"The Kids are Alright" starts with a relatively happy family headed by a lesbian couple who had two children, one each, using sperm acquired from a sperm bank. When one of the children turns 18, she contacts the bank, who puts the children in contact with their biological father. He's a likable hippie who's mellowness extends to a certain laxity of ambition -- and over the course of the movie he comes to miss what he didn't even know he wanted: a family. I don't think writer/director Lisa Cholodenko consciously chose to make a straight man the most interesting character, but that's the way it feels on reflection today. What does seem to have been a conscious choice is the differing portrayal of sex on-screen: heterosexual sex is shown in a very clear and graphic way, while lesbian and gay sex is always hidden: under blankets or hidden from sight in a truck bed, etc. I'm inclined to believe this disparity is the fault of the MPAA, who have a demonstrated history of giving an X (excuse me, NC-17) rating for gay/lesbian sexual content the hetero equivalent of which has only merited an R. Even so, it creates a disparity in what was otherwise a movie we liked very much.

The strand that connects these things is the pattern of "tolerance" in our culture which on one hand rejects discrimination and hate, but which on the other hand does not allow us to portray gay/lesbian love as quite equal to straight love.

ETA: spoilers in comments.

Comments

Another example

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

In The Birdcage, Robin Williams kisses his son but never his partner.

Re: Another example

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Yep -- a notable example in an otherwise notable mainstream-targeted movie.

[darksumomo.livejournal.com]

I remember reading "The Forever War" when it was serialized in Analog during the early 1970s (yes, I'm that old), and your impression is exactly what 13-14-old me thought at the time and still think about Haldeman's attitude. If it's any consolation, he (and his protagonist) disliked artificial incubation of embryos/fetuses and cloning even more. His greatest expression of sexual disgust came when a female Man (a clone) made something of a pass at him near the end. It actually pissed him off, which the other episodes involving homosexuality didn't do.

One other thing--the roles were reversed by the end of the book, when Mandella was called "the old queer."

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, he made some really good points about the arbitrariness of homophobia and it was clear that the author did not agree with his protagonist's very grudging acceptance. What bothers me though is that at the very end, a previously gay character and a previously lesbian character ended up as re-adjusted heterosexuals. It *could* just be that they made a lifestyle choice, but it's hard to avoid the subtle hint that this was deemed by the author to be the best possible happy ending for them.

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I haven't seen Kids/All right although my lunch buddy swears I'll have a religious moment from the sight of Marc Ruffalo's naked body, but from reviews I have read it seems typical of a trend where the lesbian gets to have "real sex" when a wayward man swims into her life.

I think the amount of eye-rolling that might result might induce a seizure... but I have toyed with the idea of seeing the movie anyway.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

I've read a few comments by lesbians who were left with the feeling that the movie played to the whole "you just need the right man to come along and straighten you out" attitude. That didn't occur to us while watching the movie because, well, it sometimes happens that lesbians have affairs with men and we kinda felt it was handled in a realistic and sensitive way. (ETA: but also, the affair was not portrayed as superior to the lesbians' marriage.) Neither of us are lesbian though and it could be yet another example of the pattern I'm describing.

If you do see the movie I would be curious to hear your take on it.

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

btw, have you ever read the sci fi novel A different light by Elizabeth A. Lynn? It has an interesting take on gender, sexuality, time, space, and various other matters where the metaphysical gets mixed up with the psychological and regular-physical... it was such an offbeat tale I'm finding it hard to even describe why I think you might find it an interesting read, but what you wrote about the Haldeman book made me think of it.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

I haven't read that, actually.

[the-alchemist.livejournal.com]

'Tolerance' is a very weak word, really. I tolerate the free expression of religious and political ideas I find objectionable, because not tolerating them would be worse.

I'm actively glad that there's a diversity of sexual orientations, and lots of other kinds of diversity.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Well, I prefer tolerance to intolerance, naturally, but I draw a distinction between tolerance and acceptance.

[akycha.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I read this review and the spoilers because otherwise I might have seen the film, and I do not want to experience or support yet another depiction of "lesbians will really sleep with men when they find the right dick."

I don't fucking care how "sensitive" and "realistic" the portrayal is. I mean, does it matter how "sensitive" and "realistic" the character of the one black guy is in the action film if he still dies so that the white hero can live? In the end, all of these are just more cliched straws added to the pile underneath the feet of an industry I would really like to burn in effigy.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Given the interesting premise, there are certainly many ways the movie could have gone that didn't involve a lesbian having an affair with a man.

I *think* Lisa Cholodenko (who is also, like her characters, in a same-sex relationship and had a child with her girlfriend (wife?) by way of an anonymous sperm donor) was trying to make a statement about how same-sex couples can make families that are equal to hetero couples in every respect, but she comes close to making lesbianism into a literary plot device.

[akycha.livejournal.com]

Lesbianism as plot device is a problem one often sees in the media, and in books as well.

Some of the most offense and homophobic depictions of lesbians and lesbianism that I've ever read were by Patricia Cornwall, who herself identifies as lesbian. However, I suppose some of the problem in that case is simply that the writing is so sheerly, amazingly bad.

I think your point about not putting queer relationships on the same par as straight relationships comes in to this somehow, whether it's through hidden self-homophobia or simply through writers who are not "permitted" to show them as being in the same light.

Another part of the problem is the way our culture sexualizes and exotifies such relationships.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

I'm forced to wonder how much of this is studios and executive producers imposing lesbian tropes on writers and filmmakers.

The example I know from my own community is that of the "Tranny Tropes" that get imposed every time the media cover transgender folk. For example, I know of one -- one -- news story about a trans woman that does not have a picture of her putting on makeup. Trans feminist Julia Serano tells of social justice activists who were cut from news stories because they refused to pose for putting-on-makeup pictures.

I imagine the pressures on lesbian storytellers are just the same.