in which sabrina gets all meta and stuff

[sophiaserpentia]

I've been noticing that a lot of people who have been long-time readers of my journal have been unfriending me, so i decided to look at my journal as if seeing it for the first time... and dang, i haven't written about anything interesting in months.

Part of the problem is that i hate repeating myself, and i have blah blah blahed at grrrrrreat length on religion and politics. Anything i write these days which is halfway profound consists to an alarming degree of links to previous posts. I've already made that point, why repeat it? And more and more, silence just feels like the wisest commentary i have to offer on things. Half the time i feel like all that's left to do now is cheer as the great religious and hegemonic institutions of the past and present crumble one by one, and mumble with an air of cranky self-righteous vindication. And what's the fun in reading that?

My journal hasn't been fun or innovative or creative in probably half a year. The fun, innovative, creative part of my brain has been in restful hibernation while it ruminates the next stage of my visionary evolution. It's not a rut i'm in, i swear.

Actually that kind of expression has been a cyclical thing in my life. I have periods of creativeness followed by a season of fallow, towards the end of which i flip through the pages of crackpot notes i kept during the last outburst, marvel that such thoughts were ever uttered by moi; and then slowly, the creaky old joints get moving again. Like the Tinman, with his can of oil just an arm's length away, but his arm's immobile.

I haven't written any fiction since November. I haven't made any music in years. Time to kick myself in the ass a little.

Comments

[tantra-cat.livejournal.com]

Just a note from the peanut gallery here... I, for one, would just be interested in reading about your life. You and I both present as female, yet I know your experience is very different from mine. You live in another part of the country...things are likely different just walking down the street and going to a coffee shop. I spend my day in office seeing hearing impaired people...how do you spend your day? I bitch a lot about school, what do you want to bitch about?

People use LJ differently. Some really feel they should only write when they have something important or creative to say...Others tell you everytime they sit down and eat something. As long as people don't meme me to death, I am interested in hearing about it. (Well maybe not the meal thing.)

I am here, because I like people...from a distance. I like reading into the fabric of lives...because it is less exhausting than interacting in person.

So...if you have the urge to write, please do, and don't put yourself under pressure to live up to some high standard. Or, go on doing just what you have been doing.

Either way, I plan to stick around.

[stacymckenna.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear.

[nebris.livejournal.com]

Entertain us or Die!

~M~

..I suppose I should have tacked a 'bitch' on the end of that..lol

[cowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Well then, those who are only reading you to be entertained will seek their amusement elsewhere. Those who care about YOU will still be reading. :-)

[lightvortex.livejournal.com]

Thanks for writing this.

I can relate--I feel like my lj used to be a lot more interesting than it is these days. I partly just don't feel like I have much to say or don't have a context to bring it up, and I have trouble motivating myself when I do want to write something down. I wonder if the things I want to write are obvious to everyone anyhow.

I've done a lot of disorganized and disjointed writing, including a few posts that I meant for lj but never finished, so I feel like it's time to try to organize it, and that just takes a lot of will/effort... I made a new years resolution to work on it this year, so now I just have to plan to actually do it.

[contentlove.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm in a really bad mood so I'll probably say this wrong, but instead of using "kick myself" metaphors, how about thinking in terms of "seducing yourself" and "beguiling yourself" and "charming yourself." I find it works really well when it comes to making music ;)) ... better than the tough love route. Until you won't practice. Then you can kick yourself. In your best "get off my lawn" voice.