are things really so adversarial?

[sophiaserpentia]

Originally published at Monstrous Regiment. You can comment here or there.

So i’ve been making plans for weeks to go to the Boston Dyke March tonight. And in my inbox this morning i see that there is a last-minute letter-writing campaign to ask the Dyke March committee to disinvite the artist Bitch, who is scheduled to perform for us tonight, on account of her performances at Michfest and her stated approval (or non-disapproval) of their policy of excluding gallae. Others are planning to turn their backs to her during her performance.

I’m feeling a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, it is really touching to see that so many in my community are willing and eager even to fight for my inclusion. But i also find it heartbreaking.

Despite what Bitch has done or said regarding MWMF, she has to be aware that the Boston Dyke March is explicitly galla-positive. It’s right there on the front of their webpage. I have heard mixed things from local gallae about how welcome they actually feel there, but the stated policy counts for a lot. Knowing about the policy (i presume), she has chosen to be here with us anyway.

So it seems to me that if she really hated gallae, she could have chosen to perform somewhere else tonight. Or, maybe she’s just an equal-opportunity opportunist, but i think that is an unfairly cynical thing to assume.

She’s been asked about the policy of exclusion at MWMF; i wonder if anyone has even asked her what she thought about the policy of inclusion at the Dyke March. Heck, if i get the chance, maybe i’ll ask her myself. Assuming, that is, the sight of dykes turning their backs on a dyke doesn’t break my heart so much i have to leave.

Suppose the committee disinvites her. Suppose she hears about the protest and stays away. Suppose she feels pressured into making a statement of support. Are any of these things victory? I don’t think our community wins by making one of our own feel they have to back down or silence themselves under pressure.

Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to see her leave here talking about having had a great experience in a community that welcomes and includes gallae? Having seen how a dyke community which includes gallae can be just as woman-affirming and healing and vital as the community she’s experienced at Michfest? Otherwise i’m concerned that she could leave here with a sour taste and see the whole thing as evidence that those who say gallae are here to undermine and sow seeds of discord are right.

I’m not saying we should back down. I’m saying that there’s a bravery in solidarity that goes beyond the bravery it takes to protest. Are things really so adversarial over this issue that this is now and forever an “us versus them” situation? I mean, protest is what you do when there is no hope that the other party will listen to you. If i’m just a hippy fruit-loop with delusions of compassion where it will never be, break it to me gently, will you?

ETA. Bitch is no longer scheduled to perform.  I don’t know any more than that; more as i learn it.

Comments

[cowgrrl.livejournal.com]

Yes, I just clicked on the link for the dyke march and see it says "cancelled" under her name. :( I really don't like divisiveness like this, and I agree...this isn't going to make her any more open minded.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

In a way it's not so different from the "lesbians vs. bi women" discord.