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Apr. 17th, 2005 05:44 pmI've been accused, several times now, of deliberately closing off rational discourse on the subject of homophobia and transphobia. Once I was warned it was making me a monster, because I said that all Christians and all Bush supporters look like homophobes to me.
I know that's not fair. But it was already not fair before I ever wrote a word on this subject. It's not in my power to change the tone of discourse on this subject; that choice was taken away from me by the funeral picketers, anti-gay protest-march leaders, gay bashers, men who target transsexuals for sexual exploitation, the President of the United States, the Congress, the Pope, the heads of many major religious denominations, tract-hander-outers, street preachers with bullhorns and signs, door-to-door proselytizers, television, junk mail, Hollywood, newspapers, books, magazines, and webpages, all with the message that I am some kind of threat to the moral well being of society. Me, little old me, a threat. I personally have been shouted at, made fun of, physically intimidated, targeted for sexual violence, you name it; I have never done those things, yet I am the threat.
Anti-gay referenda are a particular slap in the face. What these referenda tell queer people, is that when allowed to show their views anonymously, the majority of people in this country really do hate us. If a majority of the people around you voted to promote hatred of you, how would you feel? You'd look at every person around you and think to yourself, this is probably one of the people who hates me.
Fear has conditioned me well. As I walk down the street, part of me is always looking out for the people around me who might take offense at my existence as a transsexual and decide to harass me. I don't know who those people are; I can't tell them to look at them. So there is a cognitive wash in my mind, such that I cannot help but see every Christian as a potential gay basher. Every time I see an emblem of Christianity, from a cross in front of a cathedral, to old ladies selling brownies to raise money for their church, I see the edifice of homophobia. I don't like it, but that's what I see. It's not what I decided to see, it's the conclusion my irrational survival systems came to.
You might think this makes me a horrible person, but this is not a view I'm promoting. It's a reaction I'm describing. And I've heard it from many queer friends: we feel beseiged.
To call me a monster for saying these things is like getting offended because a rabbit has nothing nice to say about any wolf, even if they are tame domesticated wolves.
I know that's not fair. But it was already not fair before I ever wrote a word on this subject. It's not in my power to change the tone of discourse on this subject; that choice was taken away from me by the funeral picketers, anti-gay protest-march leaders, gay bashers, men who target transsexuals for sexual exploitation, the President of the United States, the Congress, the Pope, the heads of many major religious denominations, tract-hander-outers, street preachers with bullhorns and signs, door-to-door proselytizers, television, junk mail, Hollywood, newspapers, books, magazines, and webpages, all with the message that I am some kind of threat to the moral well being of society. Me, little old me, a threat. I personally have been shouted at, made fun of, physically intimidated, targeted for sexual violence, you name it; I have never done those things, yet I am the threat.
Anti-gay referenda are a particular slap in the face. What these referenda tell queer people, is that when allowed to show their views anonymously, the majority of people in this country really do hate us. If a majority of the people around you voted to promote hatred of you, how would you feel? You'd look at every person around you and think to yourself, this is probably one of the people who hates me.
Fear has conditioned me well. As I walk down the street, part of me is always looking out for the people around me who might take offense at my existence as a transsexual and decide to harass me. I don't know who those people are; I can't tell them to look at them. So there is a cognitive wash in my mind, such that I cannot help but see every Christian as a potential gay basher. Every time I see an emblem of Christianity, from a cross in front of a cathedral, to old ladies selling brownies to raise money for their church, I see the edifice of homophobia. I don't like it, but that's what I see. It's not what I decided to see, it's the conclusion my irrational survival systems came to.
You might think this makes me a horrible person, but this is not a view I'm promoting. It's a reaction I'm describing. And I've heard it from many queer friends: we feel beseiged.
To call me a monster for saying these things is like getting offended because a rabbit has nothing nice to say about any wolf, even if they are tame domesticated wolves.
