"Tiphareth Droppings"

"Tiphareth droppings" is the derisive phrase I coined a few years ago to describe the kinds of mystical revelations that appear in the form of words, ideas, or concepts.

About six years ago, I did a series of magickal workings which frequently involved automatic writing and astral visions. I would take these automatic writings and attempt to interpret them using all of the occult tools at my disposal -- mostly word and letter tools appropriated by occultists from Kabbalah.

One day I woke up and came to the conclusion that I'd allowed myself to be stuck in a self-feeding loop; one set of visions and automatic writings would presage the next. Each set would hint at big revelations to come, but this was never forthcoming. It was just hints on top of suggestions on top of glances of something sublime.

It was addictive, though, and exciting; it felt like I was doing something important. Only I really wasn't; I was writing down nonsense which came from some uncharted non-linear part of my brain and pushing symbols around on paper. Not long after I finally gave myself permission to step off the tiphareth-dropping merry-go-round was not long before the day I started studying Gnosticism much more seriously.

I haven't totally discounted the possibility that the primary purpose of this was to effect changes in the subconscious parts of my mind, or that it was needed to counter the linear, logical, overly-rational parts of my mind that tended to dominate most of the time. Learning how to circumvent the logical parts of the mind and cultivate creativity seems to be a part of the individuation process. Parallels to dream-diary work might be considered too.

There are also those who believe that the Gnostic writings were accounts of similar kinds of workings. The Nag Hammadi library contains several varations on the theme of the Gnostic interpretation of Genesis -- at least half a dozen, differing mostly in details and nuances. Irenaeus wrote that his opponents judged one of their number mature if they were capable of generating new "heresy."

So it could be that the process of opening your mind and allowing what wants to flow is a useful stage in the process of spiritual growth.

Virtues of suffering?

Tonight I was discussing with lady_babalon the strange notion we have in our culture that suffering is somehow more virtuous than pleasure. Of course, few will actually come out and say it that way. But we have sayings like, "No pain, no gain," and in many aspects of our lives, most of us feel guilty for doing things that make us happy.

Many of us act as though taking on extra suffering somehow makes us better people, as if there is an invisible tally sheet in the sky where we are given demerits if we have more than our share of happiness, or if we suffer less than those around us.

On one level, I think there is an innate understanding that we perceive unfairness if those we consider our equals to have a much greater amount of happiness or pleasure than those around us -- and so, for the sake of social appeasement, we mutually cancel out our pleasures with burdens. Similarly, much of the time we develop unhealthy and compulsive habits, like addictions to sex, drugs, or alcohol, which ensure that any pleasure we feel is mingled with excuses for self-loathing. This pattern is also expressed as fear of success.

But I think that there is another, more primal level at work. As primates we sense that we have a natural place in a tribal heirarchy. Our place within the heirarchy determines how much pleasure we are allotted, and so claiming pleasure for ourselves is a way of challenging our position in the heirarchy. Our instincts interpret the feeling of pleasure as akin to direct challenge to authority.

The ultimate authority is God -- and so we find that theonomic or conservative religion is heavily concerned with what sorts of pleasure we experience, and what restrictions we place on our pleasure consumption. We are taught to feel that it is somehow sinful to feel pleasure, that pleasure somehow separates us from God.

But when I examined that notion tonight -- the supposed virtue of suffering, and the supposed sinfulness of pleasure, I realized that it doesn't match my experience. I can't think of any suffering which I have experienced that made me a better, more compassionate person. Indeed, it has been times of happiness, of calm, of increased access to sex, when I have been more inclined to be generous and compassionate. lady_babalon added to this that times of fear and suffering in our lives are generally when one is more inclined to be less concerned with the suffering of others, simply because when one must focus on one's immediate survival, there is less incentive to be selfless.

(no subject)

One of the reasons we are taught to be suspicious of pleasure is that the pursuit of it might lead us to do whatever we want, whenever we want... with whomever we want.

But what's so bad about that?

If it seems a silly question, I invite you to examine it a little more closely. What IS so bad about that? Jealousy, perhaps... but some would also raise the spectre of "the collapse of the social order."

Would the social order really be at risk of collapse? An interesting question, complicated by recent evidence to suggest that monogamy may not be the natural norm to which humans are biologically inclined. What most of us experience in the practice of monogamy is a constant tension between culture (memes) which tells us monogamy is good, vs. our bodies, which tell us that straying sometimes seems like a really good idea.

When getting to the bottom of a conspiracy, we are prompted to ask, "who benefits?"

A large aspect of the way our social order is arranged regards controlling the reproductive capacity of women in order to ensure clear male parentage. This is not the whole picture, but it is clear that the male who is concerned about which children are his specifically is the one who benefits most from control over access to sex partners.