"When your boundaries aren't respected... you're nothing as a person"
understood.. which is why (regardless of my venting at you here) i never showed up to her place "unannounced"...
in my gf's case (from her description of it) she simply did not feel like herself when she had a 5 o'clock shadow and no make up on her face (not putting words into her mouth here)...
this was 20 years ago... the support for transfolk is not at all what it is today and the community looked (literally "looked") a *lot* different as far as what was accepted as "normal" behavior and normal "appearance" by everyone, compared to what i see with my trans-folk friends now days...
when my gf went off of hormones and backed off on her transition (she needed time to think things through), she lost every single fucking *one* of her friends...
in my own case, i didn't leave her.. she left me because i refused to abuse her (i'm not paraphrasing)...
i always respected her right to define herself and find what it is she wanted in her life, but my only request to her was to not swallow any other person's definition of what she was...
if she defined woman as "lipstick" and love as "a fist in her face" then my heart goes out to her, but i don't have to accept them as my own definitions.... the fact that i stood my ground and she realised she had to leave me, or else question her self-destruction, was the only honest thing i could have done for both of us...
20 years later i can still say i love her (and have done so quite recently actually) and she knows damn well what it means to hear *me* say that to her.
as far as the media's depiction (read: exploitation) of (trans)women, the TV-big-wigs can come suck my balls!... its all about what is grotesque, shocking and "novel"... they want us douching with perfume and taping our teats up to stand at attention...
when was the last time you saw a realistic depiction of a plural person in the media?... want to talk about "child alters" and "sex alters"?... its nothing to do with reality... its about the almighty-dollar and that is all the TV folks care about.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-12-07 11:57 pm (UTC)understood.. which is why (regardless of my venting at you here) i never showed up to her place "unannounced"...
in my gf's case (from her description of it) she simply did not feel like herself when she had a 5 o'clock shadow and no make up on her face (not putting words into her mouth here)...
this was 20 years ago... the support for transfolk is not at all what it is today and the community looked (literally "looked") a *lot* different as far as what was accepted as "normal" behavior and normal "appearance" by everyone, compared to what i see with my trans-folk friends now days...
when my gf went off of hormones and backed off on her transition (she needed time to think things through), she lost every single fucking *one* of her friends...
in my own case, i didn't leave her.. she left me because i refused to abuse her (i'm not paraphrasing)...
i always respected her right to define herself and find what it is she wanted in her life, but my only request to her was to not swallow any other person's definition of what she was...
if she defined woman as "lipstick" and love as "a fist in her face" then my heart goes out to her, but i don't have to accept them as my own definitions.... the fact that i stood my ground and she realised she had to leave me, or else question her self-destruction, was the only honest thing i could have done for both of us...
20 years later i can still say i love her (and have done so quite recently actually) and she knows damn well what it means to hear *me* say that to her.
as far as the media's depiction (read: exploitation) of (trans)women, the TV-big-wigs can come suck my balls!... its all about what is grotesque, shocking and "novel"... they want us douching with perfume and taping our teats up to stand at attention...
when was the last time you saw a realistic depiction of a plural person in the media?... want to talk about "child alters" and "sex alters"?... its nothing to do with reality... its about the almighty-dollar and that is all the TV folks care about.
Jules & Co.