sophiaserpentia | bravery seeds bravery (Reply)

People with cultural privilege protest that they never asked for that privilege, therefore they should not be held accountable for it, nor should they have to participate in efforts to level the cultural playing field. For example, i've been told, "I am a man who does not rape, therefore i have done enough," i am told, or, "I am a Christian who does not bash gay people, therefore i have done enough," or the like.

But this very attitude is part of the pattern of privilege you enjoy. You have the privilege of not thinking about inequity in society, not thinking about how minorities to which you do not belong are asked to sacrifice in ways you've never known about.

Minorities -- women, non-Christians, people of color, queer people, people with disabilities, and so on -- have no choice but to think about it. We can't help but notice that you have advantages we do not. It is blatantly obvious to us, but you have the option of completely ignoring our protestations, and, quite frequently, that is exactly what you do.

You have the privilege of not even noticing the power you wield and possess as if it were a natural part of the way the world works; and that includes deferential self-sacrifices by people in your lives. Chances are, there is someone in your life who is making a sacrifice for you that you never requested, that they never explicitly offered, but which you unthinkingly accept as a part of the way the world works.

And as i wrote yesterday, you are ethically responsible for it. It is your responsibility to take note of what other people give up so that your life can be improved. When that sacrifice comes at great cost to someone, it is your ethical duty to deny acceptance of it.

It is not too much to ask. It is the right thing to do.

This kind of introspection beyond the basic golden rule is what is required of all of us. If we are serious about combatting oppression, it is our duty to take note of how we benefit from it, each of us, and decline to accept that benefit any longer. It is our duty to look for it. It is our duty to acknowledge it when it is pointed out to us.

This is hard. It's damn hard. But this is what it takes. I won't settle for less, not in myself, not in any of you.

One form of privilege is immunity from the community-wide effect of a hate crime. When three straight people are shot and/or hacked up in a bar, it is not perceived as a crime against all straight people. When it happens to three gay people, as happened last night not far from where i type this, It sends the message that it could happen to any one of us at any time, and it triggers post-traumatic responses in the large portion of our community that has been victimized for being queer.

People who are straight generally have no comprehension of what it feels like to have this fear, because they don't have to; they are privileged in that respect. Straight people are perhaps only marginally less likely to actually have their face hacked up randomly in a bar; i don't know what the stats are. But they are excused from having to fear it.

It is said that it is hard to detect the presence of absense, or to prove a negative. How is someone heterosexual supposed to notice the absence of such fear in their lives? How are they supposed to recognize that 1,049 rights which they have and take for granted are not shared by another segment of the population?

By listening, by caring about your fellow human being. These things take a toll on your fellow human being that is not being taken on you; and as a result, we are more likely to suffer depression, substance abuse, and so on. We are therefore at a disadvantage when we compete with you for scarce jobs and resources. Even in the absense of blatant discrimination, you are benefitting from stealth genocide.

And these patterns hold for other forms of discrimination too. Women fear being raped; and even men who do not rape benefit from this, even if they don't want to. For example, many women avoid going out at night, creating an economic and social advantage for men who do not have this fear.

It is the duty of each of us to actively look for these privileges in our lives and decline to benefit from them. Waking up to the ways you benefit from sexism, racism, homophobia, is a lifelong commitment, and one in which we often stumble. It is also one that makes us unpopular with people around us, because they know, even if they cannot consciously articulate it, that you are thereby becoming part of the rebellion against Cannibal, a step that they are themselves not ready to take.

For the pastor of a conservative church to be the first one to speak about an end to violence against queer people is a move that requires a good deal of bravery. So does being the man who speaks up when his friends make sexist comments. In either case, the person who speaks up will catch flak for it. But people respect bravery and compassion. Displays of it can change the world. For each brave soul who takes that step, it becomes a little easier for the next person to do so. Bravery seeds bravery.

Is it unfair for me to demand that step be taken? Maybe it is. But i need, my community needs, more people to take that step. We are literally dying in the meantime, waiting for it to happen. I will pray i have the courage to take that step when i am called upon to do it myself.