(no subject)

Yesterday mommybird posted this wonderful quote from Frederick Denison Maurice:

All students of nature, of history, of language, of the world without or of the world within, so far as they are faithful, so far as they suffer no prejudices of others, no prejudices of their own, to interfere with their search for truth in their own direction, must be a minister of God, one who is contributing in some way to the manifestation of God's glory. Every individual who is toiling honestly in the field or at the loom must be contributing to the manifestation of God's glory.

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly, but I still can't help but feel melancholy this morning when I contemplate the state of human faithfulness.

For me, communion or agape is about the God (or stillness, or potential) in me reaching out and embracing the God in you. When we do this, we manifest the kingdom of heaven. "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am," and all that.

What could be simpler? Darkness cannot "struggle" against light. When you turn on the light, what seemed like cloudy, tangible, impenetrable darkness is revealed to be nothing.

And yet, when brains get in the way of hearts, it never fails to be anything but simple.

I have not just the melancholy of the mystic, but the sadness of the sexual deviant, who wonders why in the hell anyone should care what form my affection takes. I don't care about theirs, how does mine injure them? How is it that we can really let such a trivial issue get in the way of the communion I described above?

We apes are a strange bunch.

It seems that everyone around me needs a hug right now. I could use one too.

just bragging for a moment.

This summer, as many of you probably recall, I was stricken with a case of chickenpox.

When one contracts varicella as an adult, there is a 25% chance that a neurological or respiratory complication will develop. But I avoided that fate, spending the week spaced out on atarax (as the itchiness caused by the vesicles was right up there with the worst agony I have ever suffered) and playing around with Acid 3.0.

The song V.I.T.R.I.O.L. was one result of the stuff I did that week. It is a blend of Indian rhythms, deep synth pads, and house rhythms. At the time, I was perplexed by the deepness of the trance this song inspired when I listened to it. I was highly skeptical that anything like a song could actually induce a trance. It seemed more likely that it was an effect brought about by the medicine, or virus, or both.

Now that I've learned more about the parasympathetic nervous system and the way it works, I understand that ritual or indeed even music can indeed bring about altered neurological states. And so, this song, as something which accomplishes that, is one of my proudest creations.

My Life as a Thelemite

( thelemite quiz )

Actually, the most accurate answer is, "not a very good Thelemite at all, really," when it comes to defining the level of my participation in this particular religion.

For a while I did carry around the label of Thelemite, before settling on Gnosticism as a path more reflective of my views and experiences.

But some of the Thelemic scripture still carries a place in my heart. I am particularly fond of the first chapter of the Book of the Law, Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente (especially chapter four), and Liber Liberi.

I am also, technically at least, still a member of the Hermetic Alchemical Order of QBLH, though I have been out of contact with them for some time, over a year now at least. The need to associate on an active level with other Thelemites lessened when I ceased being an active practitioner of ceremonial magick.