slightly filtered

[sophiaserpentia]

I explained why, in the last post, I refuse to participate in Christmas. I will, however, participate in pagan winter solstice celebrations. In that spirit, I submit the lyrics to what has been a favorite in my family for six or seven years: "Faunus the Roman Goat-God," sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Faunus the Roman Goat-God
Had a very rigid prick
And if you ever saw it
You would say it's quite a trick
All the other deities
Used to leer suggestively
They always wanted Faunus
To Join in the revelry

Then one frosty Saturnal
Juno made this call
"Faunus since you're hung so well,
Won't you ring my solstice bell?"
Then all the others pouted
And they muttered jealously
"Faunus, the Roman goat-god
Better save a turn for me!"

See also Mithras: the Reason for the Season! by alobar, inspired by lady_babalon (also not work safe)

Comments

[azaz-al.livejournal.com]

Huzzah! :))

[secret-willow.livejournal.com]

The Teseracte Players did "Rodolph the Limp Wrist Reindeer" in our preshow this week. I would send you the lyrics but I like your computer!

[nobody-.livejournal.com]

That's great, thanks for posting it =)

[herbalgrrl.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THAT!

[akaiyume.livejournal.com]

Best seasonal song I've heard yet!

[aerope.livejournal.com]

having just come out of a greek exam, that really completes my afternoon :)

Hooray for perverse Christmas parody!

[axiomatical.livejournal.com]

Here's mine, albeit not as long or clever as yours...

(Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is coming to town!")

He's makin' a list!
Checkin' it twice!
Gonna find out if you have vaginal lice!
The Gynocologist is coming to town!

He knows when you've been naughty,
He knows when you are not,
And he knows the smell...
Of your vaginal rot!