My explanation is the "microphone theory": any voice other than that of a non-ethnic affluent-sounding male is automatically presumed to have an agenda. In the absense of a stated agenda, one is presumed.
In the case of feminists who are concerned about the misuse of pornography, the presumed agenda is banning pornography and stopping people from having kinky sex. I understand the historical reasons behind that, but it is really distracting to have to defend myself against that accusation, especially to people whom i feel should know me better by now.
Rape fantasies are very different from actual rapes.
Indeed. That's why i mentioned that rape fantasies have the effect of confusing "rape" with "rough sex" for many people. Someone who has actually been raped is in no danger of having that confusion, but someone who has not may have trouble seeing the distinction.
Re: (edited for clarity)
In the case of feminists who are concerned about the misuse of pornography, the presumed agenda is banning pornography and stopping people from having kinky sex. I understand the historical reasons behind that, but it is really distracting to have to defend myself against that accusation, especially to people whom i feel should know me better by now.
Rape fantasies are very different from actual rapes.
Indeed. That's why i mentioned that rape fantasies have the effect of confusing "rape" with "rough sex" for many people. Someone who has actually been raped is in no danger of having that confusion, but someone who has not may have trouble seeing the distinction.