You are not the only person i know in that situation, so please read carefully what it is that i said above in my first response to nysidra above.
Particularly this: "I'm not willing to engage in victim-blaming, however, and say that it is 'bad' for people to have rape fantasies. We react to injustice in our society and in our experiences in ways that best suit our survival."
So let me elaborate on that. I'm not saying that you or anyone should stop doing what you enjoy. You've had a lot taken from you already, you shouldn't have to give up anything more.
It would not be just or compassionate to demand you give up what you enjoy.
A lot of people read things like what i have written in this discussion and then jump to the conclusion that i therefore think that pornography is bad, or that rough sex is bad, or that BDSM or roleplay is bad, and i want to be VERY CLEAR that i am not jumping to those same conclusions.
This is why i have been very careful throughout the discussion to say that i myself enjoy smut, i myself have non-consent fantasies, i myself enjoy BDSM, and i'm not advocating against them in any way. My concern is with the misuse of sex, and the misuse of its artistic expression -- not with what people do to bring pleasure.
Re: consenting to rape-fantasies.
Particularly this:
"I'm not willing to engage in victim-blaming, however, and say that it is 'bad' for people to have rape fantasies. We react to injustice in our society and in our experiences in ways that best suit our survival."
So let me elaborate on that. I'm not saying that you or anyone should stop doing what you enjoy. You've had a lot taken from you already, you shouldn't have to give up anything more.
It would not be just or compassionate to demand you give up what you enjoy.
A lot of people read things like what i have written in this discussion and then jump to the conclusion that i therefore think that pornography is bad, or that rough sex is bad, or that BDSM or roleplay is bad, and i want to be VERY CLEAR that i am not jumping to those same conclusions.
This is why i have been very careful throughout the discussion to say that i myself enjoy smut, i myself have non-consent fantasies, i myself enjoy BDSM, and i'm not advocating against them in any way. My concern is with the misuse of sex, and the misuse of its artistic expression -- not with what people do to bring pleasure.